My head is splitting

Strange that I should be typing my very first blog entry from the newsroom on one of the most stressful days of my college career so far. I've been sitting in this same spot since 10AM and I only left it at 7PM last night. I'm not complaining, though, because, for all intents and purposes, I'm doing what I love.

For the past half hour, it was just me and the girl I have been avoiding speaking to for the entire semester. The sob story is tired at this stage and I am so sick of telling it, but let's just say that this year has not been easy for me. And I know there are people who are waiting with bated breath for me to fail. I won't. Well, I haven't so far. A lot of people doubt my abilities, but I thoroughly enjoy proving them wrong.

I was wondering whether I'd taken on too much, what with editing the paper, presenting the radio show, all of my assignments, work, etc, etc, but now I know that I haven't. For some bizarre reason, I seem to be able to handle it all. I have no idea how, but I can. I'm like a machine, in a way. Although, I'm kind of running on empty at the moment.

I am exhausted and I want to dissolve into tears, but I just can't right now. I have to keep working. I would love to get stoned or take a nap to In Rainbows or something, but unfortunately all of those are but a fantasy. After this, I have to go straight to work and then home to study. I promised I would put photos up on Bebo and I haven't even had five minutes to do that yet. I promised I would do a lot of things, actually. I wish I were going out and getting hammered, but given how messily that ended last week, maybe it wouldn't be the best idea. I am still covered in cuts and bruises, but it was so worth it...

That was one of the best nights out I've had in a long time, and it was mainly because of the people I was with, as opposed to the insane amount we drank. It's still coming back to me in flashbacks, and although I have good reason to be embarrassed, I'm not. I was made to feel like I should be, but I am so tired of making excuses for who I am and how I act. The people who know me understand, they get why I'm like this, and for that reason alone I don't feel the need to justify anything anymore. If I fuck up, as I so often do, I make up for it and try my best not to do it again. There are certain people in my life who I desperately want to protect from any harm, but I know that I can't. It doesn't stop me from trying, though.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, or what I'm rambling about. I should stop this and get back to work. I should text and call and catch up and apologise and bitch and bullshit and a million other things...but I don't know whether or not I have the time... Life's funny like that.

My song of the day is;
Radiohead - There There