All the best lies, they are told with fingers tied, so cross them tight, won't you promise me tonight?

Only two and a half weeks into the new year and already I've been involved in a semi-drunken argument in a bar. What are the chances!? Actually, they're quite high given the last two years of my life... I should be used to this shit by now, but I'm not.

My reputation precedes me, it seems, as my good bud Noodles was informed by a chick I will call P (no relation to her real name) that she had heard a lot of shit about me, was willing to give me a chance, but then realised everything she'd heard was true after I'd given her the finger and yelled at her, completely unprovoked. How terrible! And it does so sound like something I would do completely unprovoked in a bar to someone I didn't know.

For those who know me, that story doesn't seem likely. What does seem likely, is that P guessed I'd be an easy target because she, like a complete fucking idiot, believed what she heard about me. And she wanted to prove that it was all true, which it most certainly is not.

I've never seen anybody use two fingers to say "fuck you" except for on Father Ted, but apparently that's exactly what I did; while I was rubbing Dill's back with my right hand, no less - I must be some sort of contortionist to have pulled that off! P also claimed I had yelled at her (presumably over the music, which was pretty loud). What actually happened was that she was making fun of Dill for being drunkenly sick and I told her that I could hear her, in an effort to shut her up. That was it. Why would I do anything else besides tell her to stop making fun of my friend? It makes no sense. But, sadly, in the twisted world of my reputation, it does. She admitted to Noodles that she'd been making fun of Dill, but that she'd realised after a little bit how mean she was being and then she'd stopped. Now that, no matter who is making the claim, is utter bullshit. How many of us have ever realised how mean we were being while in the middle of a good bitch session and then just stopped? Maybe one realises afterwards, but bitching and making fun of people, by their nature, are mean things to do.

Once Noodles checked with me to see what really happened (not believing her rather stupid story either), I confronted her and told her that she was full of shit but that I was sorry if I'd upset her and, naturally, she tried for a long while thereafter to pick a fight with me. Most people I know have had a misunderstanding with somebody, have overreacted to something or have simply read somebody's attitude or demeanour wrong. We are human, we get upset over stupid shit. The difference is, usually people admit as such, apologise and get on with it.

But, of course, we're not talking about most people here. We're talking about those who, for some unknown reason, enjoy bitching, backstabbing and causing shit above all else. Those who have very little else in their lives and go on and on and on about how Goth/metal/alternative/unique they are, how smart, how well-read, how worldly...the list goes on and on, and it's boring. All of it. I know several people who belong to one such group, all women, and the claims they make are utterly ridiculous - one of the best being that it's okay to cheat, hook up with several people in one night even if some of them are in relationships, and sleep around because it's their right to do so and they have free will. These people cannot be reasoned with, they cannot be proven wrong and they cannot be spoken to in a normal manner, the way one would speak with someone else. I usually avoid them at all costs, but like I said I'm an easy target and sometimes they slip through the cracks to try to get a rise out of me. It has yet to work, thank fuck.

My problem isn't even the fact that P picked a fight with me, or that anybody else does for that matter. It's that, to this day, fucking TWO YEARS LATER, some people are still unwilling to give me a chance because of something they've heard about me. And I don't deserve this reputation. I know that I can be loud, outspoken, opinionated - but I am also always honest and open, which I'm beginning to think is what really bugs people about me. I've learned, over the past while, that a lot of people feel more comfortable when their lives are cushioned by lies and fabricated stories, by drama borne out of nothing and by careless judgements made about people they don't know. I can't understand that, but I've accepted that that is the way that certain people are. And the way to truly irritate those people is to be honest, polite and not give them what they want. Because we all know that what P really wanted was for people to witness me in action, yelling at her and being a total bitch while she sat back and feigned being upset, because that way, she could prove that my reputation is well-deserved.

Sadly, she didn't get what she wanted, although she tried very hard to provoke me. She also ended up being slumped over the table herself, in the exact same position Dill had been only an hour earlier. I helped carry her a bit of the way out. Karma's a bitch I guess, but I'm not holding anything against anybody. That's just not who I am anymore, and it's really not worth my time and effort.

So! The year has started off with a bang, but at least I didn't fall back into my old ways. We all have to grow up some time, and being in one's twenties is probably the time to do that...

Oh, and one more thing. Shouldn't P really have been bothered, not by what she heard about me, but by the fact that some guy she pulled in a bar, or even a new friend, or whatever, could talk about nothing but how much of a bitch his ex was, how much she hurt him and how everybody should see her for who she truly is..? I'd be pretty bored, not to mention slightly unsettled, by somebody I'd just met, or known for a short while, acting like that. Just a thought.




Song of the day: Paramore - Feeling Sorry.