Must update more regularly

I've called this post that, and even now, ten seconds after writing it, I know I won't stick to it. Life has been so wonderfully busy, I haven't had time to write in, well, months. I suppose that's a good thing. I'm not too sure who's even reading this anymore. Maybe my buds who live abroad, or those I don't get to see all the time...I'm not too sure. But I'll continue to write whenever I can anyway, just in case somebody enjoys reading this. And because I love writing so much that this is still a fairly decent exercise for me.

Right! So, what's new then?

Well, I'm officially employed in a proper, grown-up, 9-5 job. It's both terrifying and exhilirating in equal measures. I'm writing every day, I'm getting ridiculously good experience, I'm learning how to do marketing, which is something I'd never really considered doing but still! It's been great. I have to dress like a normal human being for it, i.e. take out my piercings, cover up my tattoos, wear blazers and...*shudder*...heels, but it's actually pretty good fun. It kind of feels like I'm playing a character. One of the lads who sits across from me (it's a very swanky office that I work in, unfortunately, or fortunately depending on what you're into) noticed I had a tattoo on my arm and has been very hurt ever since, seeing as, in his words he "used to be the office freak". The people I work with are really good fun, and very inspiring too, especially the main chick I deal with, who is so good at her job that I could sit there all day and simply watch her in awe. She is my inspiration! Anyway, it's been really good fun. It's challenging and scary, but great. I'm so happy to be making money again and to be doing something I enjoy, getting valuable life experience, writing every day...and just generally having a life. It's awesome!

In other news, I got my biggest tattoo yet about...eh...almost two months ago, at this stage. It's Ramona Flowers, one of my absolute favourite comic book characters, in one of her classic ass-kicking, tough girl stances, on my right lower leg (apparently also referred to as the calf, but it's not on the back of my leg, it's the side, and it creeps slightly onto my shin). It took four hours of intense pain (the most delicious kind), but it was also an excuse for some quality time with my girl Scoob and our shared, incredibly sexy tattoo artist. We ended up staying in the tattoo shop till way after closing, just having a laugh swapping stories. It's awesome to have finally found a great tattoo artist in Dublin. I was kind of losing hope there for a bit. Afterwards, I had to make my way ever so slowly to Noodles' house, seeing as I've been giving his adorable 18-year-old sister German grinds for the past month or so. I looked crazy, my leg was all bandaged up and I was limping about, but luckily his mother is used to this sort of shit with me.

I love getting tattooed. It's one of my favourite things to do in the whole world. I know a lot of people don't understand the desire to get pierced or tattooed, but I really, really love both. I don't consider myself to be hardcore or incredibly unique or alternative or anything of the sort. I'm just me.

I can't wait for my next tatt...but I'll probably want to get pierced again first seeing as it's quicker, and usually something I do on the spur of the moment. Last one I got was a scaffold, and it was (surprisingly) more painful than my nipple piercing. It was a bitch to heal, as most ear piercings are, but it looks AWESOME. My mother still hates how pierced and tattooed I am, but luckily, at 22, I really couldn't give a shit anymore.

Last weekend I took my adorable little sis to see her favourite band (and one of mine), Paramore, in the O2. I splurged on a suite for the two of us in the hotel across the road (one of the fanciest hotels I've ever been in) for the weekend, we queued outside in the rain for seven hours to get to the front, made friends with mad Brits, took on hipster pricks, watched dozens of kids pass out and get pulled out of the crowd by massive, burly security guards, didn't pee for twelve hours, ended up bruised and exhausted...but it was totally worth it. This was the third time I'd seen them, and they blew me away. I get a lot of shit for liking Paramore, but a quick chat with Scoob (she of the mad Green Day obsession) and I feel totally normal again! Hayley Williams is definitely one of my heroes... Here's a photo of her from the show that I did not take because my camera sucks.


I have almost ten Paramore tees at this stage...which would be kinda weird if Scoob didn't have 30 GD tees. Now I feel normal again! I love this band. I'm probably going to see them every time they come here. And abroad too. And at festivals. Yup. It was a great weekend all round though, and we left with some fantastic memories.

What else...

Oh yeah! I graduated the week before Paramore. It was pretty standard; long, boring ceremony with too many speeches, lots of fake questions about "what I'm doing with my life" from ex-classmates, ridiculously high shoes that the chicks wearing em could barely walk in...and my mother cried. Then we had a lovely dinner in my favourite Chinese restaurant, which included not just my mad family (minus my father of course) but my lovely boyfriend too! He did a pretty good job of impressing everybody (especially my cousin and sister) too, which was pretty awesome.

The following night was the grad ball. I had my perfect dress, awesome shoes, great hair and make-up, and some fucking KILLER accessories (namely a giant cross necklace and a spider ring that was almost as big). The night itself was a bit blah. The emo was bored as hell and less than impressed when one of my old hookups shamelessly hit on me in front of him (and texted me from across the room) but, all in all, it was a fun night. Saz had a great time, which was really cool because usually she gets a bit self-conscious in those kind of social situations. O looked beautiful as always, and we had some fun breaking it down on the dancefloor, which gave me some hope that the people who are supposed to be in my life will be... I suppose it was a great end to four years that I didn't think I was going to survive.

Oh! I also took my little sis to see the West End production of The Rocky Horror Show, which was fucking awesome. Dill came along and swept her off her feet with his perfect Chris O'Dowd impression (although he's still not her fave of my boys, but that's a pretty difficult feat). The show was AMAZING, easily the best musical I've seen on stage. Of course, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" is one of my favourite films of all time, but seeing it live on stage was something else... It was incredible. I'd definitely go again. The company wasn't bad either!

So, all in all, life is pretty fucking good at the moment. I feel incredibly lucky to be working, and even when I feel exhausted at the end of the day, I force myself to take a step back and give myself a mental kick up the ass. I usually stick on "Starbucks" by A too, because I think it's the best "Fuck this, at least I'm working!" song. That probably sounded sad, but it's true. I'm making more money than I ever have in my life, which means I get to go out, go to shows, get tattooed and pierced, buy shitloads of drainpipes and band tees and, in some kind of pathetic effort to be somewhat girly, I've even bought some proper make-up and hair products. I got my hair done before grad and it felt very...odd. I hadn't had my hair done in a year, and thank fuck, it wasn't in as bad condition as I'd feared, which means soon it will be long and wavy and awesome! Oops that was pretty girly...

I should stop writing this now and get some translating done before I pass out... I did nothing but laze about with the emo, fuck, eat junk food, watch movies, Mega64 and "Veronica Mars" (yeah, we're a maaad couple) all weekend...but even so I'm absolutely exhausted! Must be getting old.



Song of the day: B.O.B feat Rivers Cuomo - Magic (he supported Paramore and he totally won me over).


Currently reading: Shooting the shit with Kevin Smith - Kevin Smith. Looooove him. His podcast with Jason Mewes, "Jay and Silent Bob Get Old" is awesome too. Has made me laugh and cry in equal measure.
Currently listening to: Lots of Paramore. Lots of Combichrist. Some pop, just because it's nice to mix it in every now and again.
Currently wearing: For work, conservative shit. For downtime, band tees, drainpipes, cons, scarves and hats, my leather jacket. Got some stuff ordered too that I'm very excited about.
Currently feasting my eyes on: Lenore - Noogies. I fucking love Lenore, I can't wait to get a Lenore tatt...or several. Also, Kristen Stewart, as always. I'm pretty obsessed with Hayley Williams at the moment (obviously). Her style really influences mine, so I like to check out what she's wearing all the time.

An epic of epic epicness

I actually have that poster up in my room...I'm such a loser...

So! Today was FINALLY the day. After six books, tonnes of hype and a year-long obsession, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, the movie adaptation of Bryan Lee O'Malley's awesome Scott Pilgrim comic book series finally hit Irish cinemas.

I was nervous, apprehensive, anxious and...well, excited would be an understatement. I couldn't calm myself down enough to get much sleep last night, and the emo joked that it felt like Christmas eve. I've been waiting for this day to come since he sent me the first instalment while I was on Erasmus last summer. I've been hooked ever since. Scott Pilgrim was my first, proper introduction to the nerd world, and luckily I took to it like a fish to water, proudly proclaiming "Ich bin ein Nerd" while engaging in deep, seriously intricate conversations about the series with die-hard fans and newbies alike. I introduced my good friend Dill to it, too, and then gave out shit to him for not getting as excited about it as I did.

See, to me, Scott Pilgrim is more than just an awesome comic book series, it's a representation of my own generation in the most honest, hilariously accurate way. And, of course, given my own shitty relationship history, I saw more than a bit of myself in the character of Ramona Flowers. I fell in love with the comic books instantly and I eagerly anticipated the arrival of the movie adaptation, feeling ever more frustrated by the "post-production" notices on IMDB. The trailers whetted my appetite somewhat, and the additions of Anna Kendrick, Jason Schwartzman, Chris Evans and, most of all, Kieran Culkin, to the roster of stars made me even more excited. However, the decision to cast Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead in the leads left me somewhat underwhelmed. But I was never going to go easy on this movie, though, because I love Scott Pilgrim far too much for that. But anyway, here are my thoughts.

The emo and I arrived at the cinema to find queues of nerds eagerly attempting to purchase tickets for the showing we'd selected. We stood, terrified and silly in our newly-purchased Scott Pilgrim T-shirts (not matching, and from the comics, not the film) and waited for our turn. Luckily, we got tickets by the skin of our teeth. The screening we attended was PACKED and more than a few teenyboppers who'd clearly only recently hopped on the bandwagon pissed us off before the credits even rolled to signal the beginning. Luckily, nothing could turn us off, we'd waited too long.

The opening sequence was fantastic, and caught my attention immediately. It was funny and looked as if the artwork of the comics had been directly translated to the screen, but not in an incredibly obvious way. It wasn't too brash and comic-booky but it captured their essence nonetheless. Even the credits looked cool.

The film itself, which shoved all six books into just under two hours, was funny, great to look at, well-acted, perfectly scripted and ingeniously blended the style of the comic books into the film. Mark Webber (Stephen Stills), Ellen Wong (Knives Chau), Kieran Culkin (Wallace Wells), Anna Kendrick (Stacey Pilgrim), Allison Pill (Kim Pine) and Johnny Simmons (Young Neil) were all part of a fantastic supporting cast. Chris Evans was particularly hilarious as Lucas Lee, and Jason Schwartzman nerdy but still threatening as the evil Gideon.

The fight scenes were perfectly choreographed, the video game references were well-executed and, thankfully, the whole feeling of the comic books translated very well to the big screen, thanks to superb direction from Edgar Wright. The addition of 60s Batman style sound effects such as POW! in bright, colourful bubble writing was a particularly nice touch, and the wit of the comics was delivered through little inserts of speech blocks here and there. The dialogue was snappy, the jokes from the books were perfectly executed and the characters truly came to life with a wonderful score against the beautifully wintry backdrop of Toronto.

In fact, the only negatives in an otherwise perfect film, were the two leads, Michael Cera (Scott Pilgrim) and Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Ramona Flowers). Since I'm a die-hard Scott Pilgrim fan, I was most displeased when I found out that Cera, who to me is the same in pretty much everything he's in (although his goofy, nerdy George Michael character in Arrested Development is hilariously funny) was to be cast in the lead. Michael Cera cannot play Scott Pilgrim. Michael Cera cannot play anything besides Michael Cera. And, as I'd predicted, he played Scott Pilgrim as if he were doing an impression of Michael Cera. Although he was goofy and silly, the character was not brought to life in the same way as the others were. He did a good job delivering some of Scott's ridiculously silly one-liners, but that of course has more to do with O'Malley's superb writing than Cera's sub-par acting skills. Critics are claiming that he just barely pulled it off. I strongly disagree. He looked like Scott Pilgrim, and his dialogue sounded like him. But he wasn't him in the same way Kieran Culkin was Wallace Wells or Mark Webber was Stephen Stills.

Furthermore, Mary Elizabeth Winstead turned Ramona, who is the bad-ass, mysterious, dream girl who appears out of nowhere and forces Scott to re-evaluate his life and, ultimately, fight for the right to call her his girfriend. It's true that many fans of the series detest Ramona. They think she's an evil bitch, that Scott shouldn't have to fight for her, etc, etc. It should be noted that the fans in question are mostly bitter nerdy dudes in their 20s who either never got the girl or never tried.

I, on the other hand, adore Ramona. I saw a lot of myself in her from the very beginning, despite how controversial she is. She has these evil exes who refuse to let her be happy (so much so that they've joined forces to stop anybody else from being with her), she's afraid of being hurt, she refuses to really get close to anyone and she's always running away from her past. She kicks ass and she changes Scott's life. In the series, she leaves to clear her head, and when she returns, Scott fights Gideon (the boss, if you will) for her love and wins. They finish the book by deciding to give their relationship another try. It's a positive, realistic message of young love and, to me, it was perfect.

The film is slightly different. Ramona runs off with Gideon in the end and then Scott has to fight to save her. First, this makes no sense. Ramona was never a damsel in distress. Nor did she ever intend to willingly go back to Gideon. Furthermore, Winstead has clearly taken the bitch label to heart as she plays the character cold, emotionless and completely deadpan. She smiles a total of twice, and the kisses she shares with Cera are completely forced and ice-cold. The wigs she wears are laughably bad, and don't move for the entirety of the film. She doesn't seem to feel comfortable in Ramona's skin and is more than a little standoffish towards all of the other characters.

Although she does kick some ass (namely Roxy's, using her awesome hammer), mostly she just stands around looking bored or pissed off. It's difficult to sympathise with Cera's Scott, because he seems kind of lost throughout, but at least he learns his lesson in the end. Winstead's Ramona is so cold and uncaring and...bland that it begs the question - what the fuck does he even see in her!? This chick is supposed to be THE dream girl, not just some kooky bitch with coloured hair and rollerblades. I dunno if Winstead is a talented actress or not, seeing as I've only seen her in this and the silly but fun Final Destination 3, but I have no idea what kind of Ramona she was trying to represent, unless it was the angry nerd boys' bitch Ramona (which is not the real Ramona, if you ask me).

Anyway, besides those two slight downfalls, the movie adaptation of Scott Pilgrim was absolutely fantastic. It looked amazing, the dialogue was great, the acting, for the most part, was on point and, above all else, it did the excellent series justice. I was nervous, but I need not have been. It just made me love the series even more. Hats off to Edgar Wright and Bryan Lee O'Malley for making a near-perfect comic book adaptation that really did the series justice.

I can't wait to see it again and I really REALLY can't wait to get my tattoo!!!







Song of the day: The Prodigy - Invaders Must Die.

My Life As Joey

Lately I've been watching this silly MTV mockumentary called "My Life As Liz", which stars this cute, nerdy, skinny little hipster chick called Liz, who doesn't really fit in at her high school and hangs out with all of these nerdy boys and has lots of mad thoughts and collects comic books, etc, etc. It's totally sad for me to be watching it, seeing as I'm 22 years of age and actually claim to have a life most of the time, but I'm doing so anyway because, as much as I hate to admit it, I quite like it. It' s not very often that the female protagonist of a TV show or movie or whatever is nerdy, gawky, weird, awkard or, most of all, tomboyish. And it's nice to see. So that's why this entry title is what it is. I really am that cool and inventive.

So I haven't blogged in a while because...time has been flying by lately and I haven't really been able to find any time to do...well...anything, really! I've been incredibly lucky this summer. I'm working about...three or four...jobs at this point (one of which is brand new as of a couple of weeks ago, and is a proper, grown-up job with a salary and I can't wear my piercings for it and I have to dress like a normal person and smile lots and it's soooo exciting!) and I'm absolutely loving it. I feel like, at the age I'm at now, I'm finally FINALLY settling in to who I am. When I was about 18 until I was about 20, I was sort of forced into trying desperately to be somebody I was not. I was all overtly sexual and burlesque-y and, although it was fun, I wasn't happy and I certainly wasn't comfortable. As I've said many times before, I'm more Hayley Williams than Dita Von Teese and, after many, many years and mistakes, I'm finally accepting that and refusing to fight it anymore. And I have lots of people who love me just as I am, which is fucking awesome. I'm actually kinda glad to be me.. A few weeks back, one of my boys said to me "You just love being awkward, don't you?" and I blushed like crazy because I hadn't realised that I was being awkard but I guess I was and...anyway, yeah, I like being treated as an equal. It beats being treated like...a girl... Urgh...

I recently came into a shitload of money and, like the ridiculous excuse for a girl that I am, I dumped a load of it in my Paypal to spend on band tees and other cool shit from America, got some new Criminal Damage jeans, got a new piercing (the worst pain I've had yet - even worse than nipple, which is truly bizarre because I didn't think that possible) and spent the rest on drinking, new Converse, catching up with my buds, seeing movies (Inception blew my mind) and...oh yeah, more band tees! I'm seriously addicted to them, I think I have a problem. Although I still don't have as many as my girl Scoob, who can't even fit hers into her dresser anymore! Having money again is fucking awesome, and thankfully I'm not as much of a dumbass with it as I once was. I've also managed to squeeze in a few dates with the emo along the way, which has been a lot of fun. When we hang out, he just feels like one of my boys...but we kiss and hold hands and fuck and all too, so it's kind of like the coolest relationship I could ever imagine! He gives me so much shit too, and vice versa. I love it!

I am so, so, so happy with my life right now. I dunno why, but it's as if everything has just clicked into place finally. Obviously, nothing is ever perfect, but it's pretty damn close! Everybody seems to be doing really well right now, actually.. My boy Noodles just got back from touring the UK with his awesome band, meaning he is a real rock star now. Surprisingly, when he arrived home, we ended up going clubbing with my other boy, Dill, instead of our usual plan of going to get hammered somewhere where rock tunes are playing and everybody gets really sweaty and messy. Although we did get very messy. I hadn't been clubbing in FOREVER and it was so much fun, although I could barely keep up with the amount they were drinking and I definitely wasn't dressed for the occasion (Vans...ahem). I've always thought that I could take a decent amount of drink (especially compared to most chicks) but they really gave me a run for my money that night! Oh yeah, and we danced in foam with 18-year-olds. And I woke up in bed with an inflatable dolphin we'd named Markus. I should probably mention that Noodles is currently engaged in a bit of a bromance with my newest boy (who I guess is still in training and has yet to see me puke or bruise me or bust my balls...oh wait, never mind...) but the less said about that, the better. They are very cute though. And their sweet reunion when Noodles got back from tour melted my little black heart!

What else... Oh yes! Graduation is coming up! Sadly it's the day before Halloween, which means the Grad Ball falls on my favourite holiday, but no matter, it'll be fun anyway. It has to be, it's the end of...eh...college? I dunno what else it's supposed to represent. I'm not into the girly side of it, obviously, so I'm not as excited as most other girls would be... I don't care about my make-up or anything. I might get my hair done that day or the day before, but that's more because I need a haircut! I want to wear Docs, too, but I dunno whether my mother will try to force heels onto me before I leave the house... I need to make a trip to Camden to get a dress, but who knows when the fuck that'll happen. First of all I have to book and get my next tattoo, which is going to be AMAZING. Thankfully, my artist is back this week after being away for almost a month, so I should be able to go in and see him in all his sexiness soon. After seeing my piercer, I was a bit weak at the knees, so I'll probably faint when I go in to book my tattoo. I do love my boys alt and weird, after all. I dunno why, just do.

The Scott Pilgrim movie is out this Wednesday, so the emo and I will probably do a little date that day (provided my sis doesn't tag along) and either rave or give out about it for much of the day... We'll wear our T-shirts (not matching, thank fuck) and be all hyper and loud and complain about the hipsters in attendance who are only there to see Michael Cera, but even so it's going to be fun! I dunno whether I'm expecting the film to be shit or great, I'll probably have mixed feelings either way. But I'm excited. It'll probably suck, but I'm excited anyway! I'll probably end up blogging again this week after I see it, actually.. I shouldn't have said that. Now I have to. Fuck.

I dunno who the fuck I'm even talking to with this! Blogging is so weird...






Song of the day: That Maniac choooon from when I was, like, 12 cos they played it in the club the other night and it's been stuck in my head ever since!


Currently reading: Generation Dead - Daniel Waters. I love zombie stuff.
Currently listening to: Lots of pop! And Paramore, cos I'm still really REALLY excited to see them. Oh, and Less Than Jake cos they do some great summer songs.
Currently wearing: All of my new band tees! I got some AMAZING Paramore ones. I got a great, green zombie chick tee too. She's got great boobies. I like her.
Currently feasting my eyes on: Lots of Tim Burton stuff. I've had a mad Nightmare Before Christmas thing going on lately. I'm trying to decide where to put my Jack Skellington tatt, and who I want to draw it for me, so I've been looking at loads of Tim Burton artwork lately. (I spotted Tim Burton playing cards in a shop the other day and I was sooo tempted to buy them, even though it'd be a really dumbass purchase). And Kristen Stewart! (Cannot WAIT for The Runaways to finally come out in September). And Jared Leto, who is FIT but a total twat.

As good as it gets (at least so far!)

I've sat down about a hundred times over the past few months to write a post in here, but I've never managed to finish one. Perhaps this time I will! So, it's been a long while since I've blogged and an awful lot has changed over the past while so let's try to catch up a bit, shall we?

I finished college and got an amazing grade that I never expected, so all's well that ends well I guess. I went to a smaller college than most, so I never really felt like I got that real college experience that most people get. I loved my course though, and while I never really felt like I fit in or people really got me, I managed to make two best friends who I will keep for life. I also managed to create a friend out of an enemy, which is a pretty huge achievement, I think. I'm very happy that I chose to study journalism, because I now know more than ever that I want to write for the rest of my life, no matter what medium. I'm also glad I studied German too, because not only did I have the best experience of my entire life on Erasmus in Munich, but I've got a second language, which opens an endless amount of doors for me. All in all, my college experience was a good one, and I'm glad I stuck it out because there were times when I really felt like I couldn't. I learned a lot about life and love and everything in between, but most of all I learned a lot about myself.

Since I finished up, I've been writing every single day. My home life is a bit complicated still, seeing as my mother is feeling the strain of having a waster for a son and an asshole for an ex-husband. She used to take that stress out on me, but thankfully she has had a new man in her life for the best part of a year, and he has been the voice of reason, and often my only cheerleader. I'm not rich and famous quite yet, but I'm making money and I'm doing what I love so I'm happy. On top of that, I'm in the best relationship of my life with the most awesome guy I could ever ask for. Sometimes I find myself wondering how the fuck I got so lucky, but I suppose I must have built up my karma in a past relationship because things could not be better. Life in this city is the same as ever, but there's still room for new friends and some amazing nights out so I'm content here for the time being. I'm dying to get out and see more of the world, but the timing isn't quite right yet.

I'm itching to get more piercings, and my next tattoo is all planned out. I finally found a worthy artist in this city and I can't wait to get it done, but the funds aren't there yet. Soon though!

Hayley Williams has become one of my strongest role models, especially in the wake of a scandal involving a topless photo she sent to her boyfriend. A lot of people (by people I mean Christian fundamentalists and 15-year-old girls) were disappointed in her, but it made me like her even more because now she seems even more human to me, not to mention even more like me. It took me a really, really long time to figure out who I was, but I know now and if there is anybody I look up to, it's Hayley. And Kat von D, because she's completely self-made...actually, there are lots of women I look up to. But Hayley is one of the key players right now. I mostly look up to strong women who aren't afraid to be different, especially those who refuse to be girly or overly feminine just to be accepted. That being said, I still don't connect with a lot of females (unless it's in a romantic way). I have less than five close girl friends, and none of them are in any way girly or conventional (which is awesome).

Paul Gray, the Slipknot bassist, passed away on May 24th and, as a result, a band I've loved for the past ten years are pretty much over. There's talk of them doing a tour dedicated to his memory, with an unmasked guest bassist playing his parts, but if that does happen it'll be the last thing they do together as a band. Words cannot explain how much Slipknot mean to me, or how much they've meant to me over the past ten years. I've only seen them live twice, and both times they blew me away. Their music made me feel less alone when I was a depressed, suicidal teenager and they've helped me work through my anger and pain in times of serious distress. Slipknot have always been there for me, and will probably continue to be there despite Paul's death, whether they break up or not. I wish I could write an entire entry about what his death means to me, about what this band means to me, but I dunno if I'll ever find the time to do so. But it was almost two months ago at this stage and it still hurts just as much.

Pete Steele, lead singer of Type O Negative also passed away on April 14th. I've loved Type O Negative since I was a little Goth teenager, and his death really shocked me because, although they're not the kind of band I listen to on a daily basis, I still love them to bits and couldn't imagine my life without their music. Pete was ten years older than Paul when he died, but he was still quite a young man. With the two of them dying, and Dio, it's been a bad few months for metal. Luckily, I have absolute faith in this genre as one that cannot and will not die. As Corey Taylor once said, metal is the only genre of music that gives teenagers a positive outlet to unleash their anger. It's better to do so in a moshpit than on the streets with a knife, after all.

What else...

The Scott Pilgrim movie is about to come out in August, but the sixth book is coming out beforehand on July 20th. I am so so so so SO excited!!! My next tattoo is SP themed too, which should coincide nicely with the movie's release. I've also given the honour by Aaron Alexovich, writer and creator of the Serenity Rose comic book series, to translate his amazing stuff into German, which is an absolutely amazing opportunity, and even though it's a lot of work, I don't mind because it's so much fun!

There are three Kristen Stewart movies due out by the end of this year, the first of which I'm seeing tomorrow. I've been collecting all of her magazine covers too, I am just that obsessed with her. Not only is she sexy as hell, she's tomboyish, laidback, awkward and totally down to earth. If I were rich and famous, I'd be her (only not as hot, obviously!!).

I just got tickets to see one of my favourite bands, Paramore, for the third time in November. I missed them when they played with Green Day and (sob!!) Joan Jett and the Blackhearts the other week, but my good bud Scoob (who follows GD around the world) got me a lovely photo of Hayley from the Paris show so I was happy. This will be my little sister's second rock gig, and it is such an honour for me to be the one to take her again. She wants to queue outside to get up the front too, which is fine by me. The closer to Hayley we are, the better! Lately I've had to defend Paramore a lot, but I don't really mind. I love this band, they're fun and talented and they rock live. I'm lucky that Scooby loves GD though, because it means I feel a bit less sad for loving Paramore so much! Lately it's becoming more apparent to me that real friends and real boy/girlfriends are those that one can be totally goofy and silly around.

I should probably give honourable mention to my two bestest friends in the world, Noodles and Scooby. Collectively, we are Team JIR, i.e. the maddest and best people to party with. We've had a lot more time to hang out lately, whether it's because the timing is just right or we've been making more of an effort, but it's been awesome. Whether we're getting hammered and rocking out or eating too much junk food while bitching about the bands on Kerrang, we always have the best time together and I dunno what I would do without them. Life wouldn't be worth living!

I dunno what else to write about really....life is fucking awesome right now, and the best is yet to come because it hasn't even really begun yet! I should really blog more though...if only I could find the time!





Song of the day: Paramore - Looking Up.


Currently reading: I've taken a break from Dennis Lehane to read Lauren Conrad's LA Candy. I am not ashamed!
Currently listening to: Lots and lots of Paramore, plus Deftones and Murderdolls. Again, I am not ashamed!
Currently wearing: I have become re-obsessed with band T-shirts, so lots and lots of those, either loose or customised and grungy. I've been rotating my many pairs of drainpipes too, my current favourites being my neon pink ones (just like Hayley's!!). Still loving my leather jacket and Cons.
Currently feasting my eyes on: Kristen Stewart! Lots of Miami Ink and LA Ink, Tim Burton shorts and the Scott Pilgrim series all over again in preparation for the new one.

Your mouth is like a funeral, where kisses go to die

Shit, it's been a while...maybe I have no life anymore...

All right, let's get started then, shall we? It's Monday and it's exactly 15.17 as I type these first few words. It is lashing rain outside and has been for the entire day so far. I'm in the library in college, where I practically live these days, staring out at the rain, hugging the radiator next to me for warmth and writing this blog instead of doing more work. I've been here since 10AM and this is my one and only proper break, so I'm taking full advantage (sort of).

I dunno why I started writing this when I've nothing really of interest to say...

Life has been pretty boring and routine as of late. Like I said, I've been doing nothing but college work pretty much since my birthday. I've been doing one to two hours of cardio every night because I had a three day long depressive episode last week and haven't felt right since (I worked through it, I'm that much of a lunatic). I haven't been out, I've barely seen any of my friends. I make time for the emo on weekends but it's never enough. He's exhausted too because he's just finished up his portfolio for college. I really hope he gets in, he really really deserves it. I also hope that, when this is all over in...what...five weeks time? I hope it's worth it and I get a first. I deserve it, I've been working tirelessly. And, judging by our careers talk last week (which 7 out of 32 people in my class attended) there isn't much to celebrate once this degree is done. Apart from it being done, of course.

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. Actually, "thinking" isn't the right word...more like "panicking". Unfortunately, my passion is part of a very tough industry. We were told at the careers talk, by a working journalist no less, that we'd be better off getting the hell out of here, working in another country and returning with more experience under our belts because otherwise the chances of getting a job are slim to none. The current economic crisis doesn't help, clearly, but journalism is a tough industry regardless and it's not the kind where one can step into a job right after college. So moving seems like the most viable option career-wise, which is fine by me.

I've been dying to get out of here ever since I got back from Munich. It's becoming increasingly clear to me that travelling is the best option for a full life. I mean, I love Dublin, and I probably always will. But I want to see other places, experience different cultures, make friends all over the world. Right now, I've got a hundred different places I'd love to move to but the top four are probably Berlin, London, San Diego and Toronto. Toronto is number one because it's the furthest away and seems like a pretty cool city to live in. I'd love to be somewhere with really cold winters and really hot summers. Toronto has been my dream place for almost a year, with Berlin and San Diego close behind. Berlin would be awesome because it's such an amazing city, and because I'd get to speak German all the time. San Diego is warm and I could stalk Mega64 and go to comic con. London has felt like home my whole life, but it's not where I want to go first because it isn't unknown enough for me. Anyway, I don't know why I'm getting excited about this now because I will need to save up a SHITLOAD of money before I get to leave here. It'll be worth it though. I feel as if, when college ends, I'm going to be just itching to get my life started. Actually I'm itching a bit now. The end is so close, but it's not really the end...it's more like the beginning.. I hope that doesn't sound too corny!

In other news, the Scott Pilgrim versus The World teaser trailer came out last week and the final book is due for release on July 20th which means it's going to be an AWESOME summer no matter what else happens (although hopefully the weather will be good too). The films looks pretty awesome, the Batman-esque sound effects like POW! look really fun and Chris Evans (Gideon), Anna Kendrick (Stacey Pilgrim) and Kieran Culkin (Wallace Wells) all look like they're going to do an amazing job (okay Wallace wasn't in the trailer, but there's no way he'll be crap) but the casting for Ramona and Scott is really bugging me. First off, Michael Cera is once again playing HIMSELF. Scott Pilgrim is not goofy and quiet like Cera's usual characters, he's oblivious, silly and a hopeless romantic. He's ditzy as opposed to goofy, kind of careless and lazy and likeable all at the same time. There were moments in the trailer when Cera looked like he might do a decent Scott Pilgrim but mostly not. As for Mary Elizabeth Winstead...she looked as if she was reading badly off an autocue, like she didn't believe her own fucking lines. Although the part when they were in bed together melted my dirty little heart. She doesn't look like nerd dream girl material at all... However, it was only a teaser and I will still be excited for this no matter what.

Speaking of movies, my Mam was over in Newcastle visiting her manfriend this past weekend so the emo was over hanging out with me and my sis (and my brother and his friends who popped in from time to time and were obnoxious but funny, as always). He brought over the brand new New Moon Rifftrax and they were fucking AWESOME! We were laughing so hard we were crying. I'll never be able to repay him for introducing me to so many brilliant things. We watched Mega64 Version 3 too and my sis, of course, developed a crush on Shawn Chatfield (who wouldn't!?). And we ate junk food. And we watched all of the Sunday night reality TV shit. And it was fucking deadly. I've never been as happy as I am with the emo. I don't know what I'd do without him. I can't imagine him ever hating me but I know there's a possibility that he might. It scares me, but I have to try to be strong like Ramona (yes, I know she's fictional but even so) and just take each day as it comes and be happy, which I am. Finally.

Today begins my two week Easter break, but seeing as I am in the library it's probably pretty clear that I have little intention of actually taking a break. I've got plans to see Scooby and Noodles later in the week which will kick major ass because I haven't seen them in over a month and we have so much to discuss. Scoob is trying to convince me to come see Green Day in Marlay Park in June, with her and her die-hard fan friends. I don't like GD much anymore, but the almighty Paramore are supporting and, seeing as the GD loons (not meant offensively, I am a 22-year-old proud maggot after all) are camping overnight, thus cementing their places at the barrier right in front of the stage...well...the question is, would I pay 60 quid to see Hayley up close..?






....probably!

Time to get back to work. There are people to be trolled on FB (another hobby of the emo's that I adore) and feminist readings to be ploughed through (Greer and Zoonen need to leave me alone and stop trying to convince me that all men are pigs). I'm sure this post was life-changing. No need to thank me.



Currently reading: A Drink before the war - Denis Lehane (he scares me in the best possible way).
Currently listening to: Liebe ist für alle da - Rammstein (REALLY want to see them this summer).
Currently wearing: Drainpipes, T-shirts, jumpers, dresses, Converse. I've been taking style inspiration from Hayley lately, but I bought a new dress the other week. It's black and white striped with lace sleeves and detailing and a photo of Taylor Momsen (I dunno why) with the word "Glamour" across it. I thought it was so naff but also pretty cool and I just had to get it.
Currently feasting my eyes on: Anything to do with Kristen Stewart because I'm obsessed with her right now, also upcoming movie trailers for the summer and the second instalment of Gloom Cookie.





Song of the day: Jack off Jill - Clear Hearts Grey Flowers.

All the love I've met, I have no regrets, if it all ends now I'm set

Shit, it's been a while since I updated this...luckily only my close friends and personal stalkers read it so it doesn't really matter! The whole business of blogging is kind of stupid, and a bit self-serving, especially if one isn't famous or even slightly well-known. I don't read many blogs, just my friends' ones and Hayley Williams', which is interesting and funny without being pretentious or irrelevant. It's becoming increasingly obvious to me that certain people, be they famous or otherwise, use blogs purely as a vehicle for their own self-promotion. Some of them do it in a completely upfront manner, in the vein of "I'm so great, my life is brilliant, all of my friends are gorgeous, look at my awesome SHOES!" while others think they're being clever by doing so in a self-deprecating way. I hate people who can't take compliments, who constantly put themselves down so that they get complimented MORE. I used to be one of them. It isn't cute and it isn't modest. If somebody says something nice about you, just fucking accept it and say thank you. Where was I going with that..? Oh yeah, some blogs are fucking stupid. However, sometimes I have serious blog envy. My bud O had an amazing one but now it's private (boo!) which is good because at least I don't feel like my blog sucks, but shit because I want to read her thoughts. She's an interesting person, a bit of a contradiction and a cliche, but she's cool. She's honest, for the most part, and I admire that in people. Too many people hide behind niceties and false smiles, when they're talking everybody down in secret.


Oh, right blogs. Yes, some are pretentious. Some incredibly so. Luckily, I don't waste my time reading those, just like I don't waste my time on people who are fake. Since I'm in my final year now, I only have two classes a week during which I have to socialise with the rest of the people in my college course. Most of them are fine, friendly, whatever. And I'm used to the fact that I'm not everybody's cup of tea. But I have to admit that I love that this year, a lot of the study and work I have to do is alone. I like the space that I have to think, and that I can choose what I do and when I do it. It's incredibly freeing. Of course, the downside to that is that I've been working myself to the bone doing both of my dissertations and my radio project. I love what I'm doing, and I know that it will be worth it in the end, but right now I'm just so tired all the time that I'm worried the rest of my life will suffer as a result. I have great friends around me, who understand the situation I'm in and make the best effort they can to see me when they can, but it still fucking sucks. I can't wait till this is all over and I can just hang out for a bit and be with the people I love.


So! I've been incredibly busy the past while, like I said. I spent all of last week doing interviews for my radio project, which basically involved sitting in tattoo parlours (and my favourite piercing studio in Dublin too) and chatting to tattoo artists about tattooing. I just used the word "tattoo" about a hundred times...oops... Anyway, it was really good fun and so interesting. I learned all about the Dublin tattoo scene and how it developed over the years, about the so-called cliques who believe either that those who are heavily tattooed have more right to be known as alternative than those who have only one or two, versus those who think each to their own and there's no point giving out about prejudice against those who are heavily tattooed if they're going to be prejudiced to those who aren't. It was, at times, a terrifying experience (not because of the subject matter, just because of interviewing in general), but it was hugely entertaining and enlightening also. Every time I got nervous or felt like I couldn't do it, I reminded myself why I chose to do radio this year. It was because I wanted a challenge, I wanted to do something outside of my comfort zone. After all, life is short. What's the use in being scared?



The different mentalities of the two cliques got me thinking about so-called alternative culture in general. I'm somebody who, even dressed in a simple white T-shirt and blue jeans, with no piercings or tatts or make-up or anything, still looks like a freak. It's who I am, the way I was born. Yes, my style has evolved over the years and the bodymod makes me look a bit weirder, but underneath it all, I'm still a freak. I always have been and I always will be. I know people who look perfectly normal and they are the weirdest people, the most alternative and interesting. Let's face it, it's pretty easy to dress or act a certain way, and get shit stuck in your face or whatever, but you can't fake being "weird" or, for want of a better word, "different". In one sense, I agree with one of the tattoo dudes I spoke to, who said that we should just accept people the way they are, whether they're covered in tatts or only have one, because that's their choice. I have five tatts but they're all small, so I'm certainly not claiming to be heavily tattooed or hardcore. So who am I to judge someone who only has one but is really proud of it? Then again, on the other hand, I almost got fired for having a tattoo on my back that was hidden the majority of the time. There is a certain taboo associated with tattoos. And stupid teenagers jumping on the bandwagon and getting tattooed does make it seem a lot less special. But, that's their choice too. I think bodymod will always be a subculture, and that's cool. But just because it's more mainstream now doesn't make it less special.


Being "alternative" (that sounds so fucking pretentious, but I don't know what other word to use) is, in itself, subversive. So trying hard to be alternative sort of defeats the purpose. But then, on the other end of the spectrum, there are those who try not to look at all out there, who claim that, in doing so, they are the most subversive and alternative of all. That I really cannot stand. I'm grand with people dressing "normally" or "alternatively" or whatever the fuck they want, but making a conscious effort to look or not to look a certain way so that you appear aloof, thus making you more out there is just fucking retarded. The fact remains, be whoever you want to be and fucking keep it real. Take emo kids, for example. They get a lot of shit because, although they look mental, they all dress the same, making them sheep. I don't see anything wrong with that, because soon enough they will learn, like I did, who they are and they will dress accordingly. Personal style is a powerful thing. A lot of people hate my personal style, but lots love it too. It's been defined many different ways, but being categorised isn't something I adhere to so I'll just leave it simply at "my style", whatever that is. All I know is, I always feel like me. And I never, ever try to look weird no matter what anybody says because trust me, if I was trying to look weird, I'd look a lot crazier. ANYWAY enough rambling. This is a difficult topic to discuss because everybody thinks differently about it, but let it be known that most people don't have to try to be weird, nor do they have to try to look like they're not weird so that they may be considered even more weird!!



What else have I got to write about... My life consists mainly of college work right now, which is pathetic but it's what I love so I don't mind. Luckily, I've still been making time to read and write and see the emo. Speaking of which, this is hands down the best relationship I have ever been in. There's no bullshit, no fighting (unless I take into account drunken fights about nothing that are later resolved with bouts of fantastic drunken sex), we're completely honest with each other, we have fun together, we talk, we're best friends, the sex is the best of my entire life, we make each other laugh, we're comfortable together, it's romantic... I could go on for longer but I won't because I don't want to sicken my buds who are reading this and imagining what happens in that crypt-like room of the emo's late at night... Seriously though, it really is a fantastic relationship. I don't know what I did to deserve somebody so great. Maybe it's just because I've grown up a lot in the past couple of years. The only other time I've ever been in love was when I was 18/19/20 and it almost destroyed me (although I wouldn't change a thing). But this is...different...and it's great. I think it might last a long time, and yet I don't feel the need to count. I surprised him with turtles the other day (adopted from a mutual friend, he's wanted some for aaages). He was shocked but fell in love with them after about two seconds. Their names are Optimus Prime and Megatron, after the awesome Transformers. They're so cool, I could watch them all day. It took a lot of planning, but it was worth it to see the look on his face. Seeing him happy makes me even more happy. I don't think I've ever got so much out of a relationship before, nor have I ever given so much of myself either.. That sounds corny, but it's true.

Asides from work, everything is pretty great at the moment. Time is both flying by and standing still at once, it's the weirdest feeling. I can't wait to be done, and yet I'm terrified of what's to come. However, all things considered...I'm happy.

Currently reading: The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (the film is supposed to be shit though).
Currently listening to: The Betrayed - Lostprophets (took some getting used to, but it's different and it's great).
Currently wearing: My new blue Converse, cute little dresses, the emo's grungetastic ripped jeans, my leather jacket, pink hat, band T-shirts....my new zombie flats that I am IN LOVE with!
Currently wanting: More Criminal Damage stuff, a scaffold and, of course, another tattoo.
Currently feasting my eyes on: Serenity Rose vol 2 - Aaron Alexovich (the emo got me a signed copy of this for my birthday, it only just arrived and I am IN LOVE with it!).




Song of the day: Lostprophets - Dirty Little Heart.

Burgers + tatts + too many drinks + kick ass pressies + awesome friends + no sleep at all = my fucking awesome 22nd birthday

So it was my birthday last Friday, and I'm only getting a chance to write about it now because college is so ridiculously busy at the moment - between running around, practically sleeping in the library and making calls begging people for last minute interviews, I haven't had a second to stop. I can't believe how much I have to do, I feel so overwhelmed sometimes. I'm quite behind on the Mega 64 podcast too, which is just completely unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. I just watched last week's one now and I've another loading up for when I'm done with this (although I'm probably going to end up watching it on the bus to and from college tomorrow cos I'm so fucking TIRED right now). I have to start a new book too, or else I'm going to go mad. I have one waiting for me, I just have to take a minute to sit down and fucking start it.

Anyway, I turned the grand old age of 22 last Friday and although Saz gave me shit for getting old, the fact that I'm rocking the emo fringe right now and still getting hit on by 15-year-olds while trying to hurry through the city on any given day meant I wasn't at all upset about it. My face, for some reason, is refusing to age. Maybe it's cos I gave up the cigarettes, maybe I'm just blessed or whatever, I don't know. But I still look young and I'm okay with that. It makes getting older much more fun.

Despite the fact that 22 isn't a big deal, for my birthday this year, I celebrated on three consecutive nights out on the town - the first of which was on Thursday in my favourite rock bar. The objective was to get hammered and I definitely, definitely did. By the time midnight rolled around I could barely speak. But that's okay, cos that was exactly what I wanted. And because it was technically my birthday night out, I knew other people would be in charge of getting me home.

I was fucking skint last week so I had nothing new to wear, which pissed me off. I ended up in pink zebra-print hotpants, a white vest top, fishnets and Docs (luckily, I was too drunk to care). Oh, and I had a badge that said "I am 8" which was given to me by the emo. I loved it, as I did his card, presents (that haven't arrived yet cos they're being shipped from the US but they are AWESOME anyway) and everything else I received that night. As usual, the pressies were unconventional. Scooby got me a Kevin Smith book and a framed pic of the two of us looking disgustingly drunk and sweaty on the dancefloor together (among other things), Saz got me a grungetastic Kurt Cobain top and Joker badges, Star got a pressie that was too big to bring to the pub, Ross got me a big chocolate bar that said "Happy Birthday", Tar got me a "Nicht lustig" book and skeleton arm socks, and Noodles got me a tattoo (to name but a few)! He surprised me with it the day before, over hot chocolate in Butler's (what else!?). We hopped excitedly in his car and sped off to Bray where I met the most frightening and probably best tattoo artist I've ever come across. I got the word "Liebe" (German for love) on my right wrist. It wasn't the worst pain I've ever felt, and I managed to set up an interview with the guy too which was awesome. It's healing quite well, which is great. The only problem is that I'm itching for more...

Thursday night went well overall. There was a bit of trouble with Star, who saw it fit to attempt to get Dill and the emo to fight (although neither of them knew she was trying to provoke the other until the next day). It escalated into a pretty serious incident, involving me being dragged kicking and screaming back to the emo's house, but once the dust settled the next morning it was grand. I'll admit it was a very shitty thing for her to do, but luckily the lads are too smart for shit like that and no harm was done. In fact, they may have formed an unlikely alliance in defiance of her.

Friday was my actual birthday, so I had to race home to see my mother for a bit (even though we'd been fighting all week long). I asked for Converse and she got me bright blue ones, which the emo and I later doodled on (he drew a heart-shaped skull on one toe and I drew a Scott Pilgrim head on the other, which I then labelled "Scott Pilgrim" because it looked nothing like him due to my inferior drawing skills). Other than that, I got lots of money and clothes and a big bag of Werthers from my grandparents (aren't they sweet?). I'd only been home about a half hour when the emo rang to tell me he'd forgotten what time we were meeting and that he was on a bus into town so he wouldn't be late. I rushed to throw on a dress and heels (I'd decided Friday was going to be my classy night out, dunno why) and then legged it out the door. He took me for a lovely birthday dinner in Wagamamas, one of my all-time favourite restaurants, and afterwards we met Noodles for drinks in my favourite gay bar. Many cocktails, cheesy pop hits, Subway and a bottle of red wine later, the three of us headed back to Wicklow and I slept as much as I could in preparation for my final day of partying.

Saturday was another mad rush, as I legged it back to Dublin to shower and make myself somewhat presentable for that night. I still had nothing to wear, so I ended up in Cons for the night (which I was glad of later). Dill decided that my birthday present from him would be a night out, and I was only too happy to oblige. There's nothing I love more than good food, drinks and decent conversation with a friend. He took me to a little hipster restaurant called Jo'Burger that although a bit of a trek outside the city, was worth it in the end because it was definitely the BEST burger I have ever had in my entire life. I thought GBK was good, but this was out of this world. I'd read about the place in Dubliner and I was glad to discover that it was just as non-coupley as they'd described it (everybody sits squashed up on long benches, so it's not exactly a romantic setting) which meant that there were no awkward moments between the two of us. After all, there's nothing worse than finding oneself on a date with somebody who is just a friend, especially when knowing deep down the other person wishes it was more than friendship (not to mention the fact that I'm taken for the first time in two years). The place was very hipster, with a DJ spinning tunes, only organic Coke on the menu and mad burger toppings such as feta cheese and rocket salad. But it was delicious, and I was surprisingly glad of the walk back to the city as it gave me a chance to deflate.

We headed to Bruxies first, but it was packed with match fans who were shouting and boozing too much for my liking, so we ended up in Doyles for the night. It's not a pub I go to terribly often, because the music and crowd are predominantly indie, but it's a good spot nonetheless. We drank and chatted and there were some decent tunes. As it crept into the wee hours, we opted not to pay an extortionate price for a taxi and to simply follow the Luas tracks back to Dill's place, BK in hand. It was an odd walk back. I felt a bit like I was in a post-apocalyptic zombie movie. But it was nice, too. The Dublin air was refreshingly cool, and we got more time to chat (we never run out of things to say to each other). I didn't get a wink of sleep that night because he was snoring so fucking loudly, but I didn't mind. I was buzzing from the last three days.

On Sunday morning, Dill surprised me with the new Lostprophets album The Betrayed (which I'd been whinging about not getting for my birthday) and, after much gushing from me about how fucking awesome of a friend he is, we parted ways and I settled into a comfy chair in Butler's to read the Sunday Independent and drink the best hot chocolate in Dublin, before the emo arrived and we headed out to mine for dinner. Although I was nervous for him to eat with my crazy family, he did very well and even impressed my mother with his manners (which is a difficult thing to do) and my siblings with his wit (not so difficult). He was charming, funny, respectable, polite and sweet. He really did me and him proud. It was the perfect end to a rather perfect birthday and I couldn't have been happier.

The whole notion of birthdays gets a bit silly after the big ones, like 18 and 21, but this one still felt really special to me because I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by people who genuinely love me, and whom I genuinely love back. It probably sounds really corny, but I'm really happy right now. And even though college is ridiculously hard, my mother is trying my last nerve and I'm bloody skint, I wouldn't change anything. It's so funny, because I never thought I'd say that. I feel terrible complaining about anything, because my worries are so insignificant compared to others'. I haven't cared for a long time what people think of me, so I don't know why I'd let it start bothering me now. I was reading an interview with Ian Watkins the other day, and he was saying that even though people hate him and think they know him when they don't, it doesn't bother him or stop him from living his life the way he wants to. I know he can be an arrogant prick at times, but I really try to emulate that in my life. And frankly, I think I'm doing a pretty fucking good job of it at the moment too.





Song of the day: Lostprophets - Where We Belong.